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Run Little Rabbit, Run

// September 30th, 2008 // No Comments » // Free Writing

Someday our two worlds will be one

Free as a bird

// June 25th, 2008 // No Comments » // Free Writing

stupid freewriting

I really don’t care about this nonsense anymore.  Is it my usual six month sickness aids hiv you have the hiv cats in spiney glasses and lab coats all around. punctuation is for the elite class of human beings. perpetual lying.  chronically lying.  lying all the time.  catastrophes and trainwrecks and messes and messes cleaning up. perpetually the janitor.  my life is a garbage dump with no maintenance staff.  i clean and scrub and organize and sort only to tire and quit again and again and again.  i want to feel fresh and new again but it’s lost forever oh my darling clementine.  i feel so guilty for lost relationships and painful memories of messes that were hastily scrubbed and carelessly washed.  i was never good at cleaning.  lies and lies and lies and more lies.  perpetually the liar.  even when i’m telling the truth i’m lying.  to him. to you.  to everyone that means anything because i’m scared of the repurcussions and i fear the inevitable.  i’m a ball of fear.  nothing more nothing less.  every part of me is motivated by fear of everything.  everything’s inevitable.  everything’s eventual.  but if i can put it off for today i’ll be just fine.